Sarah sits before me with tears in her eyes. “I feel like something is wrong with me. I’m degenerating, and I don’t know what to do.”
At 50 she is experiencing an array of physical problems, including bad digestion, osteoporosis, 30 pounds of extra weight and 40 percent less energy.
“Sarah, I ask, What it is like for you to live in your body?” “It’s miserable. I really hate it. I’m taking these stupid medicines because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t understand what’s happening to me, and I’m scared. I feel out of control.”
I then ask her, “Sarah, what do you think it is like for your body to live with you?” Her expression changes markedly, and she is clearly taken aback. “I’ve never thought of that.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. “That my body might have feelings about living with me.”
“Say more.” “It makes me sad. I feel a little ashamed that I’ve not even thought of my body as having feelings.”
“What do you think she feels?” “She is afraid for one, afraid of more pain. I don’t think she likes the medications.”
“How does she feel about you?” “She feels like I ignore her and just do whatever I want.”
What do you mean? “I push her a lot and don’t give her enough rest. She needs to stretch and have more fresh air. I really don’t feed her as well as I could.”
“How is that for her?” “She can’t keep up, and so she gets sick, then I give her medicines instead of listening to her and taking care of her.”
“Would you like to make friends with your body?” “Yes.”
“OK, lets do a little process. Begin by noticing your breathing. Simply become aware that your body is breathing or being breathed. She knows how to do this. She does it when you are asleep.
“Next, become aware of the beating of your heart. You may be able to feel your blood pulsing in parts of your body. Feel that and again realize that you do not need to make any effort for your blood to circulate.
“Think about your blood. It is filled with red and white blood cells, antibodies, proteins, clotting factors, hormones, minerals, nutrients and healing factors beyond imagination. It is a living miracle within you, able to magically transform itself into any tissue. It can heal anything. See if you can actually feel the rich, healing qualities of your own blood.
“Now slowly scan through your body, pausing to become aware of some other living miracles. Your brain, eyes, thyroid, kidneys, bones, nerves.
“In this moment your body simultaneously hears, balances, digests, reproduces, warms and cools, defends, eliminates, repairs herself and more. Infinitely more. Experience the unfathomable intelligence and skillfulness going on right now here inside you.
“Your body has grown and maintains all of this… for you. For you, Sarah. She is infinitely wise. She loves you and is devoted to you. She knows no regret, no resentment or anger. She is only capable of love for you. She is yours alone. She exists only to serve you. That is her only mission.
“She has been patiently awaiting this moment that you would recognize her. She has been longing to communicate with you for a long, long time now. Can you sense that?”
Sarah nods slowly, deeply immersed in herself.
“Good. Take whatever time you would like and be with her. Ask and listen… with your heart. Not your mind, your heart. I’ll be here when you are through.”
Soon Sarah opens her eyes and smiles softly.
“What are you feeling Sarah?”
Tears begin to overflow onto cheeks. “Sad… happy.”
“What did you learn?” I ask.
Speaking quietly, she says, “Many things. I found a sense of hope that I desperately wanted and yet didn’t know where to look for it. I feel like I’ve found a friend who loves me more than I’ve ever been loved. She is wise and kind, and I’ve treated her like shit, yet she’s not mad. I wonder how I could have been so ignorant of something so obvious.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am living inside a living miracle. It’s so obvious. Yet it runs counter to everything I’ve ever thought–that my body is intelligent and kind and can actually talk to me. I mean clearly she knows how to make a brain, and yet I treat her like she was totally incapable of intelligent communication. I see now how she has been trying to get my attention for all these years. She has been trying to guide me, but I didn’t know how to listen.”
“She’s definitely got my attention. This is very deep. It’s like I have the possibility of developing a relationship with the person I most wanted to have a relationship with. Someone who really cares about me and knows what I should do.”
“Who is that, Sarah?”
“I think it’s me.”